Source: www.themirror.co.uk
Right, I’ve got to do it. The poor girl doesn’t know what she has let herself in for and I’d feel responsible for ever after if I didn’t set her straight…
It’s Kelly Brook I’m talking about.
Look at her, bless her, beaming away as it’s announced that she is one of the contestants in this year’s Strictly Come Dancing.
Little does she know that she’s about to spend nearly every waking hour for the next couple of months in the arms of a man more driven than Richard Hammond’s Porsche.
A man among men. A legend in his own dancing shoes. Ladies and gentlemen, taking the floor are Kelly Brook and… Brendan Cole.
Kelly, dear, you lucky girl! You have been paired with one of the show’s finest dancers, someone who… no, I can’t say that. Ahem.
You are about to live, sleep, eat and breathe Brendan.
Your life for weeks to come will be whittled down to no more than eat, dance, dance, dance, eat, sleep, eat, dance, dance, dance. You might have to squeeze the occasional cry in, too, because Brendan can get cross.
His former partners have formed a support group and, following intensive mutual counselling, we are now able to mention his name without wanting to club someone.
As a naive, would-be dancer two years ago, I assumed that my fellow contestants, like me, regarded the show as a bit of fun and a brilliant opportunity to learn to dance. I think some did but, to most, particularly the dancers, it was a very serious competition – and losing was not an option.
Being the worst dancer in the bunch wasn’t the end of the world to me but, understandably, to Brendan it was.
Walking on to the dancefloor was like being humiliated in front of class. But most of all it was fun, an unforgettable experience, and it gave me the tightest butt ever.
So Kelly Brook, if you can dance and you can tame Brendan, I think now you’re in it you can win it.